Growing up I was without fatherly guidance for most of my teenage life. A very vital time for any man. But most importantly I always worried about my sister not having our dad around. Even though I was the older bro, it was real difficult trying to be somewhat of a man at the age of 12 when at the same time trying to figure out HOW to even be a man. But one thing I knew for sure was that I had to Sho her love. No matter how busy I was with music or anything I had to still find a moment to Sho her some love. Baseball games, school shows, whatever. Just try my best to be there. I could never replace our father but I could still be a positive male figure in her life. I was kinda obligated to do so.
I really noticed this importance when she got married to a guy I really didn’t like. It was tough at first. But in a conversation where him and I expressed how much we hated each other’s guts, he admitted to me the thing I always dreaded. That he had acknowledged the void left by our father and in a sense saw the opportunity to be the man in her life to kind of fill it. I was heart broken. The thing I feared most had happened. Luckily, I ended up discovering that he’s actually a great guy. One that realized how vital it was to Sho her love and help build a strong bond with his now wife. I thank God for that. It was also my cue to know that my job was done and just trust that she was smart enough to take it from there. And there’s nothing wrong with a man wanting to be that strong male influence to a women who’s never really had it. Long as he uses it to build her up and not break her down.
So big brothers out there in the same situation… please take the time to Sho your sister(s) that love and support. Because trust me, it’s more vital to her future than you know.
Come on people. It’s 2012. If you’re still running through your spouses phone, you need to run out of that relationship, or at least know where you guys went wrong. Understand you gotta let a man be a man and vice-versa. I like to build trust from the beginning by being completely honest from jump. Especially if we’re not exclusive yet. My cards will be laid on the table for you. Feel free to make your move.
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I’m realizing that a woman will tend to hide their weaknesses until they feel comfortable enough to divulge them to you. And even though you may already know what they kind of are…listen, embrace them. Be her support in helping her turn them into strengths. Even if the relationship doesn’t work, she steps away a better person for the world, to say the least.
Follow me: @kennyshotime